There are so many things I’m excited for and I’m just happy that God has given me joy after my praying and going to bed a little sad last night!

I’m excited for Release!!! Our Black Regional Student Conference with Intervarsity! I’m excited because I’m expecting God to show up in mighty ways and speak into my life like he’s done so many times before… because I get to see so many wonderful faces that I haven’t seen in a while like My BFF ANGELA!!!! and PATRICE!!!! and my wonderful roommate from Atlanta ’08 ALEX!!!! and the potential of meeting new wonderful faces from different schools that people are going to bring… it’s going to be awesome!!!

Work was awesome today!!! I got my babies back! Last week someone was out so I had to be with the middle schoolers and I was very unhappy because they don’t listen to me like at all… but today I got to go back to where my heart is and was welcomed with hugs and opened arms cuz they were happy to see me! They don’t know I was just as happy to see them… cuz I had an incident with the middle schoolers and a parent was upset and that made me upset and I really was worried that I did something wrong, but I talked to the principal about it and she said that the kids told the truth which really made me feel better because the one girl was lying to her mother and making me look bad and the parent was going to talk to the principal and I didn’t know what that outcome was going to bring… but now that the girl owned up to it the pressure is off of me! Plus the director of Aftercare came in my class today and told me I was doing a very good job and that just boosted my day because I worry about that sometimes and just need that word of affirmation to know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing because I do try my best.

I got to spend time with Utibe today in DC… which was great because even though it was crowded and our time was short we got to talk a little bit and catch up after Atlanta before she makes that trip back to LA… Utibe and I did an Urban Project with Intervarsity in 2006 together. We spent some time reminiscing on that crazy summer! LOL Good times…

Oh and at driving school today my driving instructor asked us what it meant to be saved and it was great just to be able to openly share about Christ in a setting you wouldn’t think of as the place for that… and I found out that one of the students in the class is a freshman @ Bowie State… God is SO funny… connection over break? I mean really WHAT is the likelihood of that happening? Needless to say I’m going to try to connect with her and maybe even try to get her to come to Release… she does attend church… I wonder if she’s crazy enough to attend a conference with some people she hardly knows? LOL We’ll see!!!!

I FINALLY decided what song I’m dancing to for my grandmother’s Pastoral Anniversary this Sunday! Cece Winans’ Holy Spirit Come Fill this Place! I’m excited about it now LOL because at first I just had no clue about what to do… and though I’m sure my grandmother would love anything I do… its like a dance tribute to her and my ministry unto God so I was really like ok… its coming up what should I do??? AHHH!

All in all I’m just excited about God cuz he’s amazing and wonderful!

Advertisements

So I don’t really know where to begin… I’m apart of the group on campus called Lighthouse Campus Ministries and its great. Like being around college students talking about God, seeking after God, talking to GOD… yeah best thing ever… Sharing the gospel with those who don’t know Jesus… Love it! Its been really cool just to see what God has done through us this semester and its just been awesome… Well we have this weekly hour prayer room that I would go to faithfully cuz it was an awesome space to just connect with God outside of my normal prayer closet and just a great time of personal and communal prayer. Well I think it was like 2-3 weeks ago our campus leader and I were praying and we both heard the same thing about our work not being done even though the semester was winding down and to not let up… we were like ok LOL but little did we know what that meant @ the time… since then we did a big proxe station outreach event, a Christmas party, and a prayer room along with our normal prayer and weekly bible studies… I can just say personally for me I’ve connected with more people in these last 3 weeks than I did all semester long and I know alot of other people got connected to other people too and I think its just amazing and that’s why I just love campus ministry so much and know its what I’m called to…

So as most of you all know I’ve been looking for a job pretty much since I left York College in March… over the summer I got a job as a baby sitter but then my school schedule didn’t work for me to keep that job (which kinda sucked cuz it was great) and so I’ve been without income since like mid August (and yet provided for in ways beyond my imagining). I’ve had lots and lots of disappointments and discouragements and really just didn’t understand why I couldn’t get a job.. then even I was put on the list as a substitute aftercare teacher where I’d miss bible study if I were called and I never even once got called… but I recognized that getting a job would really take me away from a campus that I’m not on much away because I commute and would take away the relationship building opportunities.

So what does my title have to do with this and why am I saying all this??? Well… for one, my mom’s manager was going to do her a favor and hire me I just needed to pass this test and she’d hire me. I was banking on this job… already cashing my first paycheck and some more… The day after I took the test I went to a counseling session that my wonderful lovely great BFF kinda made me go to and my job hunt came up in the conversation and she suggested that I try to go for work study on campus again… at the time I brushed her off because I was like I just took this test and I already got a job, I’m getting called tomorrow… So I paid her no mind and didn’t listen to her… So yesterday we sponsored a 9-hour prayer room for the end of the semester and finals and I’m on campus all day in the prayer room 🙂 and I get a text from my mom saying that I had failed the test and I needed to take it again…. So of course I’m like devastated and confused because this test wasn’t hard… it wasn’t even your typical exam… I didn’t take the time to see in that what God was doing or hear what he was trying to say but I got prayer from our campus minister and she even said maybe God didn’t want me to work there… Its close to my house which was good… but that meant on public transportation I’d be 2 hours away from Bowie and unavailable alot of the time with school and work… (I know I take forever to get to the point sorry) I get more prayer that night during accountability with my BFF but I’m still not receiving anything like she said the same thing but I still didn’t have a peace about the situation and I now know it was just the enemy trying to distract me from hearing from God… and for a while there he did…. Today I stayed in a funk pretty much all day up until bible study prayer time where I was finally listening to God speak to me and tell me HIS plan… and calm my spirit… Before I went to bible study though I was talking to a friend who I didn’t tell the situation that happened or anything and she sent me a link for a job fair on Bowie’s campus to work @ Bowie through food services… at the time I was still in my lil funk so I was like they’re not going to hire me anyway and I don’t think they hire students so I’m not going to go… then yeah awesome prayer time… I get home and DUH!!!! It clicks and I finally open my eyes… I didn’t not get the job because I was inadequate (even though that’s something I knew before today LOL) I didn’t get it because I wasn’t supposed to, because God wants me at Bowie avaliable to cultivate relationships and do ministry…

I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won’t draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said. ~ John 16:12-14 (MSG)

So going into college I had no idea who I was, or what I really wanted to do with my life…

4 years later I’m still in college and still really don’t know what I want to do with my life… Well that’s not true, I do know what I want to do with my life… but I really don’t need a degree to do it. I feel like God has called me into ministry. None of this makes my mother happy… she thinks I should’ve graduated from school by now (though she never graduated from college), have majored in computer technology (for the money of course), and studying @ University of Maryland vs. Bowie (though Maryland costs 10x more than Bowie). She also thinks I should still be going to a church where I’m not growing spiritually because the family should go to church together and the dancers miss me… *rolls eyes* Yeah… because those are all good reasons to be @ a church… not God @ all… and people wonder why Jesus redefined family and said we should prefer God over our family… I mean because if I put my mom before God I’d still be in a place that’s not good for me… unhappy because I’m doing something just to please her (AND that wouldn’t satisfy her anyway) and not my God-given purpose and I’d prolly be more miserable than I currently am… Nonetheless, I’m learning to be content

I’ve been having some weird dreams lately… really weird… and they caused me to cry… even though the dreams are of nothing… because they didn’t happen and are weird… but yet they did… oh well