Yet to be deciphered

So I woke up today in an extra good mood. I think I’ll credit restarting blogging because that’s the only change that was made.

Writing does relieve stress so I’ve resolved to try to do it more as not to go insane.

I haven’t been on here in a min… this, or twitter… FB consumes my life… I need to update more but I don’t have a cpu right now… boo

I have a twitter account now and its actually quite fun…

So tell me if you have twitter so I can follow you! 🙂

So I’m here in blogging land… I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to really write anything… plus the things I want to write about are so deep everytime I sit to write I get lost in my thoughts and end up saving the draft all over again… no lie I have like 3 drafts of blogs with plenty more sitting in my head waiting to come out… so I’ll be back once I get my thoughts together… I promise! Oh and I am reading your blogs 😉 I just also start to comment and get distracted and forget what I’m writing… yeah a mess I know…

So… I’ve told you all about Storm Stories with TheNorEaster

With alot of butterflies of the approaching day, the day has come for me to share my Storm Story… BUT you have to go to his site to read it because I encourage you all to read everyone’s story not just mine…

Mine is about Freedom

So friends I just ask for your prayers… I feel myself drifting back into a place I don’t like… and I know why… I just don’t want to admit it to myself… but in thinking back to the storm stories… I am coming to grips with the fact that its ok for me to feel this way so I’m not going to fight my feelings like I usually do cuz I think that’s what makes me feel worse… but I’m going to just pray and ask God that I feel his presence more in this time than ever before

… you see someone from a far and think its someone you know so you yell to them only to find when they get closer its not them………..

Yeah me too… only what’s worse is when the person doesn’t leave it @ a mistake and tries to continue the conversation…

So first it was a bad situation to begin with because I was walking in my neighborhood LOL… sad to say this always produces problems for me… even in broad day light

Anyway my 15 year old (step) brother goes to school down the street and he lives with his dad (not my dad) and I haven’t talked to him or his mom (my step-mom or exstep mom???) for a long time… He sometimes comes to visit this lil girl across the street from my house that goes to his school and I always miss him. I’ve been hoping I’d run into him so I could get his mom’s number (obviously his mom and my dad split up… lot of family drama)…

Well from afar I see 2 boys in what looks like school uniforms with bookbags on their backs walking towards me. Now I didn’t automatically assume this was my brother (I’m not THAT naive). One of the boys yells to me… something… not hello not even hey… So of course I ignore him… BUT he keeps calling out… Here is how the convo went…

Him: You can’t speak?

Me: (because now I think its my brother) OH well I didn’t know what you were saying. What are you doing walking the street anyway, aren’t you supposed to be in school? What’s your number I need to call your mother but I have to go.

Him: School?

Me: (Realizes its not my brother but still think he’s a lil boy who should be in school) Oh I thought you were someone else… You have a bookbag on like you should be in school… sorry (I called him a lil boy in there somewhere but I don’t remember)

Him: (trying to catch up with me to get closer) Lil boy? What makes you think I’m a lil boy. How old are you?

Me: Prolly older than you. I thought you were my brother. I’m sorry I have to go.

Him: Wait how old are you. Why you call me a lil boy? I’m 33.

Me: (trying to get away walking as fast as I can not looking back) I thought you were my brother… I’m 22.

Him: Well since you’re 22 can I call you?

Me: (Now horrified because he caught up to me and is like right next to me and his friend is calling him to leave me alone making me worry since he was worried) Absolutely not… bye

Thankfully I got to cross the street and get away from him and people were around… not like last weeks episode which I will not discuss

I must say… I suck @ blogging… Its pretty much out of sight out of mind for me. I used to have wordpress as a homepage but then I downloaded a new internet server and I can only have one homepage instead of the 5 I had before. Why am I making excuses?? I don’t know… they’re unnecessary and unimportant… I’m trying to blog on here more and again and that’s all that matters…

So in reading my old blog updates I just laugh because things have constantly been changing… My schedule has changed… my life has changed… everything has changed well cept one thing… I still don’t have a job but that’ll change soon too 🙂

  • So yeah I’m now a part time student @ Bowie… currently taking 2 classes… Voice and Piano…
  • My major… yes it has changed yet again…. to Music LOL
  • I’m only in one class @ DDI which is Warfare Weapons on Monday nights
  • I’ve joined Excellence Christian Church (click on the link under church and organizations) and I’m excited about it

I think that’s all for now… I’ve been truly enjoying life and its been a journey but I finally feel I’m right where God wants me to be for this season in my life. Even with the things that I feel aren’t going my way…

In other News… I love astronomy… like as a kid I had my grandmother (who is now gone to be with the Lord) buy me this Big telescope set. I would sneak outside @ night and try to look @ the constellations. Now because I lived in an urban area I saw maybe one star if I was lucky enough… I was always OVERLY excited to visit Owens B. Science Center to go into the dome to have them point out constellations to us. Like I think I was the only one in my class amazed and I didn’t even really fully understand then just the vastness of God… I just knew that it was simply amazing.. especially to think that because we’re constantly moving and the stars are constantly moving and are so big and so far away that where we see them today… isn’t where they were even a few days ago… Mind blowing right??? LOL… So take this for cake… so we know that in the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth… wait I’m just getting so overwhelmed right now that I can’t even do it justice… Just watch the videos @ the bottom… and know that God is WAY WAY WAY bigger than we can ever imagine… and yet… He loved US so much… that He took the time to come down into human form… and become as small as US… JUST to save US…

Oh yeah btw… @ Fall Conference there was this BEAUTIFUL night where the clouds were gone and the sky was clear and we saw all the stars in the sky and even saw them twinkle and it was just so awesome and amazing and wonderful.

Louie Giglio: How Great Is Our God Tour – Part 1

Louie Giglio: How Great Is Our God Tour – Part 2

Louie Giglio: How Great Is Our God Tour – Part 3

Louie Giglio: How Great Is Our God Tour – Part 4

Louie Giglio: How Great Is Our God Tour — Part 5

This is what I was told today: “Ashley, I’m about to come into some money. So I am buying myself a new car. I can’t sell my old car because it was given to me so I have to give it away. I asked the Lord if I could give it to you. So I’ll most likely be giving you my car when I buy my new one.”

Are you kidding me???? I SO don’t deserve a car… I SO don’t deserve anything I have… It took my best friend to point out to me about how I focus so hard on what I don’t have and on the negative things in my life that I totally miss all the wonderful blessings God bestowes upon me all the time… and all I do is complain about how my life “enormously sucks” when I am SO blessed beyond measure and I don’t take time to see it…

Today women @ my church also gave me bags of clothes too… New clothes they’ve never worn… Nice clothes… I can’t even remember the last time I bought some new clothes… they’ve been giving me clothes for a while… @ least 6 months…

Seriously… the next time I say I hate my life or something of the sort smack me and tell me I’m breathing… because I could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve been dead if it weren’t for the Lord right now on the path that I was on… and I owe no gratitude but to give him ALL the PRAISE, GLORY, and HONOR cuz its only because of HIM that I live, move, and have my being.

2 Corinthians 10
13But we will not boast of things beyond our measure, but according to the measure of the rule which God hath distributed to us, a measure to reach even unto you.

14For we stretch not ourselves beyond our measure, as though we reached not unto you. For we have come as far as to you also in preaching the Gospel of Christ,

15not boasting of things beyond our own measure, that is, of other men’s labors; but having hope that, when your faith has increased, we shall be magnified in you according to our rule abundantly,

16to preach the Gospel in the regions beyond you, and not to boast in another man’s rule, which he made ready for our hand.

17But “he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.”

18For it is not he that commendeth himself who is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.

I just have to say I have the worlds best best friend ever… She’s just pretty amazing… she like puts her all into me and never expects anything in return… She is awesome and I love her Very VERY much… that’s all

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