So bear with me… I have like so many ideas to write about and I think about them and then when its time to sit down and write I forget Lol… so I’m going to write a blog about the things I will be writing about over the next few days to come LOL No specific order btw:

Barack Obama and the Black Community (specifically churches)
The Truth Shall make you Free (mini confessional about my former bad habit)
Time and how I waste it mixed with getting back on track with my goals
The joys of reading someone else’s blog
The gift of Christmas
The influence of friends of your actions
The power of words and confession
Overseas Missions
Being Single and loving it
To Write Love On Her Arms (a personal testimony of mine)
Laminin (Do not… I repeat… Do NOT steal my joy by goggling it!! LOL Warning, this is reverse psychology LOL)

LOL… I look like I’ve booked myself for some heavy blogging, but I’m actually excited to write about this stuff because its stuff I think about and stuff I want to get others opinions about and I don’t talk alot and this stuff is interesting and what I’d rather talk about then some of the things my conversations usually consist of now… like relationship problems, or family problems, or just life problems in general!!! LOL So yeah I think this’ll keep me busy for a lil while and I just can’t wait to see what others think Lol… SO I’m going to take a poll of which I should do first LOL because though I’d love to write them all right now… I do have to go to school tomorrow and need to sleep LOL

Names are important… they’re endearing.. they define who you are… most people just don’t let anyone just call them anything

Well I used to put up with it… I felt like I used to have a million nicknames… I used to complain about them too… but now no one really calls me anything but my name I kinda miss it

There used to be a time where Ashley was so foreign to me I felt weird hearing someone call me that AND being introduced as that cuz I had this one friend who stopped using it all together so when she’d tell people who I was it was this is so and so oh.. yeah some people call her Ashley LOL…

I must say though there were some nicknames I didn’t like at all…

When I was little… oh my I can’t believe I’m even about to tell you this LOL… but when I was little my grandmother used to call me ding-aling… why I have NO idea… it was one of THE WORST nicknames I’ve ever had… like I HATED it… but she was my grandmother so I answered to it… it wasn’t until one day when my aunt was like Why do you call her that? (I was like 15 @ the time LOL so I’d already endured 15 long years of this torture) and my grandmother was like I don’t know its just what I call her… and my aunt was like would YOU wanna be called ding-aling? That’s not a very good nickname… *cues the hallelujah chorus*

So I have 4 siblings… all younger… and I was 14 when my youngest bro was born… so of course he and my sister who is only a year older than him couldn’t pronounce my name… so instead of callin me Ash-ley they called me Ashbey… now… I know ya’ll are like awww how cute and it woulda been cute if it only stuck with them and only until they could pronounce my name correctly… but no… my dad, step-mom, and other brothers started callin me that too… UGH I hated it… and then they did it to get on my nerves because they knew I hated it… now I didn’t have to give a reason why I hated to last nickname… cuz I’m sure ANYONE would hate ding-aling… LOL… but I hate Ashbey (along with alot of the other variations of my name) because in elementary school my babysitters granddaughter used to torment me so bad because she didn’t like me because she did bad in school and I did good and they always compared us and it was horrible… but anyway everyday she’d tease me and call me out of my name… but mostly it was Ashy Ashley or something stupid like that… like one day she took the liberty of herself to write on the chalkboard like 100 different variations of my name to make fun of me with… like seriously if she put that much effort into her school work as she did to make fun of me I tell you she woulda been a genius…

Sway… now this is a nickname I acquired in college and I totally didn’t like it… but I did give and only let the people who gave it to me call me that because they were so adamant about it and liked it so much LOL… *rolls eyes* plus… 2 of them… I wouldn’t be able to get them to stop anyway… Eric and Ryan and Bethany were really the only ones allowed to called me Sway… and its all because Eric that wonderful guy said one day that I looked like Sway off of MTV news because I had my hair back in an afro with something covering it like he had on the show… so everytime they saw me Eric and Ryan would try to get me to say “What’s up world this is Sway on MTV news” or something like that whatever is intro was… and of course I’d refuse because it’d just have been egging them on and all then need is a twig to start a fire… I didn’t like Sway for 2 reasons and I think they were very good reasons… 1) Sway’s a freakin DUDE… off MTV… I’m a female, who doesn’t watch MTV and doesn’t like what MTV stands for or promotes… so for me to remind someone of a MALE on MTV is not very pleasurable in my eyes… 2) Sway- the word defined means to fluctuate or vacillate, as in opinion or to move or incline to one side or in a particular direction. At the time I felt like I had a tendency to do that with my faith as a Christian and I totally didn’t want to be defined by that because I was trying to come out of it. So you see… Sway just wasn’t a good nickname for me… but it entertained them for about a year or two LOL… my BFFS LOL

Like I said I don’t like any variation of my name as a nickname… but there’s another reason why too… so of course most people call me Ash… its cute I guess… but I don’t like it… 1) cuz it makes me think about Pokemon and that Ash… and then 2) Ash is something you try to get rid of off your body and 3) Ashes of someone or of fire… I mean I can’t think of anything positive about Ash… plus @ one of the old churches I went to… one of the sunday school teachers loved to call me mAshley mashed potatoes… and I hated it… and like whined everytime he did it… but he wouldn’t stop until I told my mom in tears that I hated that he called me that and then he like apologized saying that he never meant to hurt my feelings… which of course I knew… it just was very annoying to be called out of my name (specially since this was around the time I was getting it from my babysitter’s granddaughter anyway)

So why’d I say all that LOL… IDK I just miss having a nickname… prolly mostly miss the people who called me by those nicknames… I miss how things used to be LOL

*** Edit for Angela 🙂 ***

Chuckles- I got this nickname in college and I love it 🙂 Khia calls me it sometimes but its still not the same LOL So one late night my freshman year I was hanging out with some of my friends in IV namely Hilary and Laura 🙂 and for some reason I just couldn’t stop laughing. Like everything and anything was funny. They thought I was dilussional. Then Hil said “You giggle and chuckle @ every little thing we say… We should call you giggles.” And I laughed @ that but I was like no… LOL So then we decided to go to Bethany and Sanaa’s place because Laura wanted to go to bed. And I laughed the whole walk over and was laughing when Sanaa came down to get us. Hil was like, she has been like this all night so we named her giggles. And I started laughing harder. Sanaa said that’s a lil more than a giggle. And then Hil was like well its between giggles and chuckles and both Bethany and Sanaa and Suzanne all voted chuckles. And there my new nickname was thereby Chuckles. And I laughed everytime they called me that until I got used to it. But then my name went out the door 🙂 Until they left :(… LOL But Suz would introduce me as Chuckles to anyone like seriously. And they’d be confused like is that your real name? LOL And then she’d add, well some people call her Ashley. And then it’d be theres for the choosing. Though I really didn’t like when strangers called me chuckles cuz I think it took away the specialness or something because like you don’t call someone you just meet their nickname… But I was Chuckles to Suz LOL

So I have this cavity in my mouth… well I have this disease in my mouth that makes my teeth very fragil and easily get cavities no matter how well I take care of them… but back to this cavity… I have this cavity in my mouth and the tooth wasn’t in enough for me to get the cavity filled because my teeth also stopped coming in halfway in the back because of the disease because I’m so lucky… so they wanted to take the tooth out… Now I’ve had 4 teeth pulled out of my mouth and I felt every single tug and pull and it was horrible and extremely painful… something I’d never want to experience ever again… PLUS the tooth wasn’t giving me any problems and so I didn’t see any reason to get the tooth pulled to cause me pain… and I already have less than the normal amount of teeth… I don’t want to lose another… My mother agreed with me and talked me out of going in for the next appointment… This was like maybe 6-8 months ago… Maybe like a few days ago the tooth has started hurting really badly in my mouth… It actually was loose and a piece of it broke off… and I’m pretty sure my mouth has been bleeding for the past few days plus the gums on the outside where the tooth is is majorly swollen… In case you’re wondering… yes this is extremely painful… Now why did the dentists want to take this tooth out when they did??? It didn’t hurt me then??? Not at all… BUT!!!! They knew that it would most likely cause me pain later and that it’d be better to get it out before the pain was caused…

We were born with this disease… the urge and or desire to sin… God knows our whole life story… God knows everything from beginning to end… Sometimes he tells us to do stuff… we see it as painful and honestly see it as pointless… We don’t want to let go of our sin… Then things get painful and we try to take care of it ourselves and make things worse… and then are stuck… Just salivate on that

Where would I be
If not for your grace
Carrying me
Through every season
Where would I be
If not for Your grace
Came to my rescue
And I want to thank You
For Your grace

Grace that restores
Grace that redeems
Grace that releases
Me to worship
Grace that repairs
Visions and dreams
Grace that releases

I love this song… I first heard it @ Release ’08 where Khia led worship of course… this song is my constant reminder that I am saved by grace and that any and everything is possible because of it…

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”
~ Romans 2:4-9

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was give to us in Christ Jesus before time began, but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.”
~ 2 Timothy 2:8-10

So, wow yeah, I was quoting that scripture for verse 9, where it talks about grace, but I don’t like putting up incomplete sentences and the bible, especially the new testament, is full of run on sentences. I was totally convicted just then by verse 8… I was reminded of the Bowie bible study when I was sort of thrown into this outreach evangelism that they were doing on campus (mind you I’m not a student at Bowie at the time). I was so uncomfortable not only because I’m doing outreach on a campus of a school that I don’t even go to yet, but because I was doing outreach and had to tell people about Jesus. I mean what was I afraid or ashamed of? Back then Paul had good reason to tell them not to be ashamed… they had good reason to be afraid… if you proclaimed Jesus you would be thrown in jail or killed… What’s my excuse?… there’s no one threatening me to keep my mouth closed or I’ll be killed, thrown in jail, or even harmed for that matter… but yet even when I fail… God’s grace keeps me…

So I was thinking about my life goals and how they are very ambitious… I found myself saying I doubt I’ll complete all of them…

Goals within the next 5 years:
Develop healthy platonic relationships (preferably ongoing within the next 4-5 months)
Move out of my mother’s house (preferably within the next 8 months to a year)
Get out of debt (preferably within the next year)
Do a summer missions project in Cairo (2-3 years?)
Do a summer missions project with CTI Ministries (1-2 years)
Make use of all the pages in my Passport and travel the world (life long)
Remaster my instrumental abilities in piano and guitar (this year)
Own an Acura for my vehicle (more…)

So yesterday my cousin and I went to go see Wanted Movie (Which by the way you should go see if you can tolerate the sex and excessive derogatory language and enjoy action packed film) and on the way home we got into an argument (not heated just an I’m right you’re wrong kinda thing) over whose song Apologize was… I have to say we both were right in our own respects… (more…)

Charlie Brown being tricked by Lucy once again

So I’m sitting here on facebook adding more pieces of flair (as if I need more) and I decide to look up the ones called inspiration. I come across this button of Lucy and Charlie Brown from the Peanuts… Lucy is holding the football and Charlie Brown… poor Charlie, is standing behind it as if ready to kick it… The inspirational message was Never, ever, ever give up… Now when first looking @ this button (especially if you don’t know the history behind it, though I couldn’t imagine anyone not knowing about Snoopy and the Peanuts…) one could say “Aww that’s nice… I need to remember to keep trying things I can’t do…” After thinking about it for a while though, I thought about 2 different views and perspectives of the situation. (more…)

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