Ministry


There are so many things I’m excited for and I’m just happy that God has given me joy after my praying and going to bed a little sad last night!

I’m excited for Release!!! Our Black Regional Student Conference with Intervarsity! I’m excited because I’m expecting God to show up in mighty ways and speak into my life like he’s done so many times before… because I get to see so many wonderful faces that I haven’t seen in a while like My BFF ANGELA!!!! and PATRICE!!!! and my wonderful roommate from Atlanta ’08 ALEX!!!! and the potential of meeting new wonderful faces from different schools that people are going to bring… it’s going to be awesome!!!

Work was awesome today!!! I got my babies back! Last week someone was out so I had to be with the middle schoolers and I was very unhappy because they don’t listen to me like at all… but today I got to go back to where my heart is and was welcomed with hugs and opened arms cuz they were happy to see me! They don’t know I was just as happy to see them… cuz I had an incident with the middle schoolers and a parent was upset and that made me upset and I really was worried that I did something wrong, but I talked to the principal about it and she said that the kids told the truth which really made me feel better because the one girl was lying to her mother and making me look bad and the parent was going to talk to the principal and I didn’t know what that outcome was going to bring… but now that the girl owned up to it the pressure is off of me! Plus the director of Aftercare came in my class today and told me I was doing a very good job and that just boosted my day because I worry about that sometimes and just need that word of affirmation to know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing because I do try my best.

I got to spend time with Utibe today in DC… which was great because even though it was crowded and our time was short we got to talk a little bit and catch up after Atlanta before she makes that trip back to LA… Utibe and I did an Urban Project with Intervarsity in 2006 together. We spent some time reminiscing on that crazy summer! LOL Good times…

Oh and at driving school today my driving instructor asked us what it meant to be saved and it was great just to be able to openly share about Christ in a setting you wouldn’t think of as the place for that… and I found out that one of the students in the class is a freshman @ Bowie State… God is SO funny… connection over break? I mean really WHAT is the likelihood of that happening? Needless to say I’m going to try to connect with her and maybe even try to get her to come to Release… she does attend church… I wonder if she’s crazy enough to attend a conference with some people she hardly knows? LOL We’ll see!!!!

I FINALLY decided what song I’m dancing to for my grandmother’s Pastoral Anniversary this Sunday! Cece Winans’ Holy Spirit Come Fill this Place! I’m excited about it now LOL because at first I just had no clue about what to do… and though I’m sure my grandmother would love anything I do… its like a dance tribute to her and my ministry unto God so I was really like ok… its coming up what should I do??? AHHH!

All in all I’m just excited about God cuz he’s amazing and wonderful!

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So I have a plan and I’m like extremely excited…

But first the JOURNEY… LOL

If you’ve known me for awhile you know college hasn’t really been my thing… I came to college because it was what was expected of me because I did well in high school and I wanted to get money to take care of my family. When I got to college I always said it should just be a social experience… 4 years of hanging out with people… no classes. I wasn’t really interested in anything really but I was good with computers so I picked the major of Information Systems Development. It didn’t take me long to realize that wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I mean while I spend every waking hour on the computer now, I didn’t like fixing problems or not knowing how to fix a problem (come across this alot) and the joy of being on the computer would be taken away because it was work. I also had begun growing spiritually in my faith and saw how I needed to follow Jesus with my whole life meaning career path as well. I never had asked God for direction in any area of my life like that before. So I asked… I think… LOL

So what I heard from God was to teach so that’s what I was going to do. Now I knew it was from God because all my life I’d been saying that I can’t teach so I didn’t make it up. So the plan was to change my major to Music Education because I love music (and play 4 instruments and sing) and God told me to teach plus I love children. Right? WRONG! LOL So after being convinced by someone who thought they were looking out for my best interests that I wouldn’t be able to get into the music program because my skill level wasn’t to the caliber needed I changed my major to just Elementary Education and was going to minor in Music. So getting into the Education program at my school was just as hard if not harder than getting into the Music program, especially since I was transferring into the program. BUT the only thing that was truly holding me back was my GPA which was a 2.97 and it needed to be a 3.0… So when I got to a point where I couldn’t take anymore classes except the ones in the Education program and I couldn’t get in because of my GPA I had to change my minor to Special Education just to be able to take classes and bring my GPA up. Needless to say that didn’t happen… in fact it went down to a 2.94 and I still wasn’t allowed in the program.

At this point (and many other points) I’m ready to just quit school. So I didn’t really seek God at that point about what I should do and I was in fact quite confused because I didn’t understand if he told me to teach why I couldn’t get into the program. (of course I know now :)) Anyway that was around the end of my junior year, so I began to look into any major that I could take that would have me to graduate in the least amount of time. The major would be Behavioral Science which is like the head of Sociology which seemed very interesting to me when I had to take Soc 100. So that’s what I did… my plan was to get out of school as soon as possible with any degree and just figure out my life after I graduated. Well needless to say THAT didn’t happen either. LOL

I had some big attacks of the enemy which led me to actually leave school in the middle of the semester and not return to that particular school. But the day I came home even I was being asked so what are you going to do? Where are you going to school? You need to register soon its around the time of deadlines. Which I guess was the voice of God in a way because I probably wouldn’t be in school right now had that not happened. BUT again I did not consult God and ask Him His plan and purpose for my life but jumped right into applying and registering for a school that made sense I would go to because it was cheap, it was close (and I thought it’d be easy to get there though found not the case), and it didn’t hurt that my mentor/ big sister worked there.

The only thing was it didn’t have my major so I had to change my major again… the most logical choice at the time was Sociology because it was the closest to my previous major. After being accepted and doing more research about the programs and things I decided I wanted to study children. So that’s what I signed up for. The only problem was there was this one class that was a prerequisite  for all of the following classes. Meaning I could only take that one class. I had a few more classes I could take because of the graduation requirements for the school but not enough to be full time so I just signed up for “fun” (courses I didn’t need but thought would be useful to me) classes to fill my schedule. On October 9th I have a break down and I’m just like I have no direction in my life I don’t know where God is taking me or why I’m even here or what I’m doing with my life… I feel like I’m going no where… I’m dropping out of school forever and moving out of my house and living with a friend!!! Yeah I was a mess… yeah I didn’t drop out of school… but I did drop down to part time and I did FINALLY seek God for direction and I waited for his direction and didn’t get it until December 4th.

I’m excited about it because before I never really had a Graduation Plan where I sat down and looked at everything I needed to do to graduate. But like I have this comprehensive list of everything that I’m going to take from now until I graduate in 2011. Oh yeah and I changed my major of course LOL… It is now Business Administration Management. I feel it is in line with what God wants me to do with my life even going into ministry because my vision is to open my own dance studio and that will be a business and I’ll definitely need to know how to operate it properly. Oh and if you’re wondering where the teaching comes in… I’ll be teaching dance classes @ my studio so I didn’t heard God incorrectly when He told me to teach… I just didn’t wait to hear the whole thing… So my graduation countdown has finally begun! Spring 2011 here I come! 🙂
Oh yeah did I mention that I’m ending this semester with  4.0 and because I transferred schools my old GPA is wiped clean??? I could write a whole blog about that one 🙂 but Wohoo!

Here’s my graduation plan just in case you’re interested 😉

Graduation Plan

Spring 2009

Introduction to Business

African-American History to 1865

Introduction to Principles of Reasoning

Life and Health

Technical & Report Writing I

Fall 2009

Principles of Marketing

Principles of Management

Principles of Accounting I

Principles of Macroeconomics

Principles of Microeconomics

Spring 2010

Principles of Accounting II

Business Law I

Money and Banking

Business/Economic Statistics I

Organizational Behavior

Principles of Supervision & Leadership

Fall 2010

Business Law II

Management Problems

Principles of Finance

Human Resource Management

Spring 2011

Quantitative Methods in Decision Making

Entrepreneurship & New Enterprises

Business Strategy and Policy

Production and Operation Management

So I always am motivated to do things by one thing or another. I’m motivated to get up in the morning because I need to go to class. I’m motivated to go to class because that’s how I get good grades. I’m motivated to get good grades because I want to graduate. I’m motivated to graduate to get my degree and a chance at a decent job. I’m motivated to do that because… well because that’s what society tells us to do.

There was a point in time when my sole motivation for going to college was so I could get a good job to be able to have my 2 youngest siblings move in with me so I could take care of and support them because I thought my step-mother and father weren’t doing a very good job because neither of them had a job or degree and it just was pretty horrible. That was 4 years ago. There also was a point in time when I said I was going to drop out of school because I was so sick and tired of it and couldn’t stand it anymore because it was holding me back from “life”. That was 3 weeks ago! Let me just say that my siblings are actually in a much worse place than they were 4 years ago when they were my motivation for getting my degree and that it’s only the grace of God that’s been keeping them thus far but they are no longer a strong enough motivation for me to complete that goal.

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Jhamir 7, Savannah 8

When I do get the motivation to clean my room, it is because I’m tired of looking at the mess and not being able to find things. Unfortunately that motivation almost always passes very quickly and I don’t mind sitting in my mess for a few more months. Its not that I totally enjoy filth, because quite frankly I really don’t like it, but more that I’m not too motivated to do something about it.

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Very old picture of my room clean in college

I’ve always been motivated to lose weight and be a smaller size. More because the scale says that I’m obese than anything else but also because I think I’d look better if I were just a lil bit smaller. My family has always called me big girl and my mom has always compared my size to hers when she was my age (she was actually quite skinny before she got pregnant with me) and all signs pointed to I need to lose weight. But then I do certain self esteem exercises where you’re supposed to love yourself the way you are and I quickly lose those motivations (which weren’t very good ones to begin with).

Me in Oct '08

Me in Oct

My pastor (I think it was my pastor LOL //*edit* it was my pastor 🙂 first lady but pastor nonetheless//) said that our motivation for doing something ought to be lined up with the Word of God because if it isn’t it won’t sustain us to the point of striving to meet that goal or expectation. I know this all too well with my failed attempts @ change and how I too often give up on things that I know are good for me to do. But the Word should drive us to be steadfast and endure because you’re not doing it for anyone but God and striving to please Him and that’s unchanging. I think she also said it should be out of our Love and Obedience towards God if I’m not mistaken.

So I’m writing this because I definitely need some accountability and PRAYER in the areas I’m trying to work on… mostly to get started but to also keep striving for excellence in completing my goal because I have a tendency to start and stop things very quickly. Now some of these things I can start doing now… and others I can’t but because certain variables are needed… but I still need to be reminded constantly of them because otherwise when I will have the opportunity to do them, I won’t forget and not do them.

So this is my Personal Growth Chart for the moment. I filled this out on my own in case you’re wondering because its all typed and what not. I typed it up and then printed it out and then scanned it as a picture so I could share it with you all because I think its a valuable tool to have. I know there are plenty of other scriptures to support cleanliness and finances I just couldn’t find them so if you have some please do share and I’ll add them and meditate on them as well!!!

MY ECC Personal Growth Chart

ECC Personal Growth Chart

Now this is an expanded comprehensive chart of areas in my character that I want to be in excellence in. Now I have some other things I’d like to do just out of shear obedience too.

  • Say my daily confessions from ECC and from Dare 2 B U group
  • Write in my journal daily from ECC, Dare 2 B U group, and my own personal journal (That’s alot of journaling LOL)
  • Share my faith with at LEAST one person a week (with a heart to go with it not just to be keeping tabs on doing my “christianly duties”.
  • Sleep no more or less than 6-8 hours a night (I currently have a sleeping issue if you couldn’t tell with my writing a blog @ 5 am)
  • Eat 3 right portioned meals a day (I currently eat 1 meal a day… it’s really bad)
  • Tell my brother (Andrew, 12) I love him a least once a day (OMG I can’t believe I just wrote that LOL) and give him a hug (You can definitely tell I didn’t come up with this one… definitely the Holy Spirit there LOL… I’ma definitely need help with THIS!!!!)
  • Pray aloud for a least 30 min a day (this is getting deep… I can pray in my head all day long if I wanted to, but aloud… this is gonna be tough)
  • Stop sucking my thumb (it’s my crutch of comfort… I’ve been doing it for 20 years… old habits die hard…)
  • Stop lying to myself (This will be hard for be accountable to but its a big deal because if I lie to myself I’ll lie to anyone for one thing and I try very hard not to lie to other people but readily accept the lies I tell to myself and secondly the lies I tell to myself are very deadly and non life giving and I really really REALLY need to stop)
  • Stop doing the things that I know I can get away with because no one knows but me and God (its nothing major like stealing but sin is sin and again its deadly so something I need to give up)
  • Write out a daily plan for my day and stick to it until I get out of the routine of laziness (Its just deplorable how I slept 15 hours today and pretty much wasted the day away sleeping)
  • Smile for a minimum of 2 hours a day ( I think this is the most difficult task on my list yet LOL)
  • Call my grandmother once a week to say hello (Whoa… have you talked to my grandmother lately??? man… Lol)

I think that’s it for now… I would hope so because that’s alot of things I need to do… but my pastor said on Sunday why work to get only one area of your life in excellence when as soon as you’re there you won’t be able to enjoy it because you look back at all of the other area’s you’re lacking in and see that they aren’t to the caliber of the one area you’re in excellence in and so you’re dissatisfied. I believe God has given me the strength, knowledge, and wisdom to be able to reach these goals. Because He desires that I mirror Jesus and walk in Excellence just as Jesus did so that He may work in me as I work for Him. I’m not saying its going to be easy… because wow… its definitely not… but its possible.